Dan and Jill's story
Hello!
We hope learning a little bit of our story will help you prepare yourself for some of the waiting and questions that will arise but also help you realize that everything that happens during the course of your wait is meant to be and you will get the child you were meant to raise.

I must admit, I never really understood that phrase. How could you get the child you were meant to raise? How can an arranged adoption with a woman you have never met lead you to the child you were meant to raise? Well, now, I totally understand. I think you have to go through whatever situation you are given in your adoption quest to realize it. Allison is definitely our daughter. She is the sister Erin was meant to have and she is the grandchild her grandparents were waiting for. She fits in our family so well I don't ever think about her being adopted. People have stopped me on the street to tell me how my daughters' eyes match...she is the child we were meant to raise and I wouldn't change anything about the situation we were given which led us to our beautiful daughter.

We became active in our adoption pursuit in July 2003. Like most people, I think, we thought we would have the average wait or maybe even a shorter one. We were so ready to be parents and find a sibling for our daughter. We let the first 6 months go by. We checked in occasionally with the adoption agency. As we welcomed in the year 2004 we started getting more anxious, wondered whether we would have a relationship with a birth mother, and started calling the agency more often. I didn't want to be annoying, but I wanted them to know that we were ready and waiting!

The day before our daughter's 5th birthday party, I got a call from the agency asking if they could show our profile to a potential birth mom who was due in January. They told me the situation over the phone and it felt right. I told them they could show us to the birth mom and I was really excited. The next week they called to say that the birth mom picked another couple, one that had been waiting a little longer than us, and also had one child. I was disappointed, but I understood and was glad that a couple had been chosen that had another child.

The holidays came and went and we knew in our hearts that we had to make a tough decision. We didn't want to let go of our dream of expanding our family, but we were so emotionally drained. We started talking about international adoption because we thought it would be a sure thing and the wait would be known up front. We had a long talk with our counselor at church and came to the agreement that we were going to let go of domestic adoption, look into international, and be OK with the fact that we might be a family of three. I also had the same conversation with my brother, who has one adopted child and had already made the decision to have only one child.

The next day our world changed. Dan got a call at work, we were on the phone all morning and in the car driving out of town by 2 p.m. We were holding our baby by 4 o'clock and everything seemed right with the world. Amazingly, I think we were pretty calm during the three days we were at the hospital. We never had worries that Allison's birth mom would change her mind or that we wouldn't be taking Allison home with us. We met Allison's birth mom the first night we were there. Looking back, we realize she was incredibly strong and courageous. We sat with her for over an hour, talking about the baby, her situation, her other children, our family and our daughter. She was so together. We passed Allison back and forth between us. She told us the name she had picked out and said, "I know you will change it and that is OK, I just had to give her a name." We liked the middle name she had chosen, Paige, so we decided to keep it for Allison. It is something she will always have from her birth mom. Allison's birth mom has given us such a gift. She was so strong and unselfish to give us the job of raising Allison. I remember walking into her room to meet her, there was such a sense of relief for all of us. She said she felt as if she knew us because she had read our profile so many times. There are no thanks big enough for the gift she has given us. We just hope that she knows in her heart that we will be the best parents we can be to Allison.

Now, our eighteen month wait is a memory. We are busy everyday watching Allison grow and learn new things and watching her personality develop and her relationship with her sister blossom.
We are blessed.